Choose a Grounded Perspective

Last month I shared a new talk, 5 Essential Strategies for Thriving through Change,  with a group of job seekers. Many of them were struggling with the lack of routine that accompanies an unexpected job loss. When they were employed, they had predictable routines that filled their days. Without these anchors on their time, they felt adrift in the newfound emptiness of their calendars.

The interesting thing to me about this phenomenon is how natural it is to yearn for the opposite of whatever we’re currently experiencing. How many of us have woken up dreading a commute each day, wishing we had the freedom to choose how to spend our time? And yet, when granted that freedom, we find ourselves equally imprisoned–now by a desire for a stable routine.

Change like this is so unsettling because it unmoors us from our expectations. Even our smallest assumptions about daily living are thrown into question. When should I get up in the morning if I don’t have a job to go to? What if I stop doing everything I’m used to doing? Who will I be then?

When I left my corporate job at the end of last year, I wondered aloud to several friends if I would be tempted to spend my days binge-watching Netflix and drinking wine now that I no longer had a traditional job to go to. All of them laughed at me and told me I was being ridiculous. One smiled and said, “So you’re afraid you’re going to turn into a completely different person now that you’re working for yourself?” Yes, that sums it up.

The strategy I needed in those early days was the first one I shared with the group of job seekers:

Strategy #1: Choose a Grounded Perspective.

Change opens us to possibilities we weren’t necessarily looking for. But just because we have these options does not mean we have to act on all of them. We can plant our feet on the ground, remember what’s still true, and take a deep breath.

When we’re ready to move forward in a new direction, we will.